A Chick and A Chair: 88 Lines about 44 Women
Array-ne on the road east with the laptop bluesat the marsh’s edge—tantramar tauntingme to enter its morass, to cross at my own risk,the neck is narrow, bottled, grippingnova scotia to hang on, to not drift away on the briny—wee green wedgie or noand i’m on the road with my laptop,my electronic lapdog, hot and hungrybeside me—talking to me, wantingattention—
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-ne A new study reveals that a majority of scientists believe in God. In a separate study in June, 76 percent of doctors surveyed said they believe in God and 59 percent said they believe in some sort of afterlife.
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-ne Day 1 witnessed some proud moments: He surpassed 600 wickets on the very ground that was witness to a defining moment in his career; It was only befitting that the ground was a witness again to another glorious achievement by this man who brought alive the leg-spinner clan that was dying a slow death in cricket.
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Ok - maybe it is just 88 lines about me. Or - maybe it is just 88 lines of confessions from me. Either way - this is all about me.1. I honestly believe that yelling at my computer screen affects the outcome of the cards that fall on the flop, turn, and river2. I am selfish as all hell - though I don’t always appear that way3. Sadly I love cigarettes more than just about anything in the world 4. When I sit at a poker table, I honestly do believe that I am the best player at that table. The day I stop believing that is the day I quit playing. 5. I derive sinful pleasure from check-raising when I have the nuts6. I would rather win a pot with the hammer than with any other hand 7. My greatest gift in poker is patience, my worst flaw is undervaluing my hands8. My favorite job ever was working as a bartender. I would do it again for minimum wage without tips if I had to 9. Women in general piss me off with their girly ways. However, when I find women that I respect and like, I will go out of my way to be in their company10. I like cards, beer, golf, fishing, baseball and football more than most things in life.11. I like being alone way more than I should 12. I like cats and dogs equally, and will spend hours trying to convince people that I need to adopt every stray I find - though I never actually do13. I do not goo and gush at the sight of a baby14. I believe in the power of meditation15. Though I am from Canada, if you ask me the temperature I will probably tell you in degrees F16. I probably use the words ‘eh’ and ‘dude’ more than any other word in the english language17. I hate brandy. I used to hate scotch, but have since acquired a taste for it and would drink it any day of the week18. I love beer. Any kind of beer19. There are approximately 2000 people in this world who know me only by the nickname Bobo. It is a really long, boring story why20. I did not listen to any kind of heavy metal in the 80’s, though I really like it now21. I used to ride a skateboard, and lived for quarter and half pipes22. The longest crush I ever had was for a guy named Rob Oliver. I have no idea where he is now, and don’t really want to know 23. I love cooking, and will spend seventeen hours straight making a meal if I have to 24. Money is not the reason I do things, yet I do dream of being a millionaire25. I have never dated anyone based on what they looked like26. If I go to a bar, the last thing I want to do is dance27. I can not sing. At all. Don’t ask me to, cause I won’t28. I do, however, love singing when I am alone29. If I had to pick one famous man to be my ‘ideal’ - it would be John Corbett30. There are times in my life when I feel completely and utterly lost, and others when I feel invincible31. Sappy commercials make me cry. So do game shows32. I am a contradiction of terms, and I am ok with that 33. I always had short hair as a kid, and I now refuse to cut it. I also refuse to cut my daughters hair and cried the only time I ever did. 34. I think you learn more about people when they are drunk than when they are sober35. I am left-handed, so chances are I will die 4 years before most of you36. I play hockey, golf, and baseball with both hands though37. All my favorite teams are from Michigan. I have said that before, but it bears repeating38. My favorite foods are chicken wings, ribs, cedar-smoked salmon, and rare steak39. I could never be a vegetarian - though I agree with the principles40. If I could live anywhere, it would be Vegas. I am sure I would be sick of it within 2 months, but I am willing to risk that41. I have never been off this continent42. If I could travel anywhere in the world - it would be Italy. No question43. I willingly studied Latin. And Russian. 44. My favorite wine is a Chateauneuf De Pape, and it is not that expensive45. I love champagne, but am not that impressed with Dom Perignon46. I have no desire to travel to England, but would still go if presented with the opportunity47. I like to stay up as late as humanly possible every night, yet I love being up in the morning. I have no use for afternoons48. I am fairly independent and will fix and build things myself, but I firmly believe in the mantra: car broke, man fix49. The thought of working in another cubicle terrifies me, but every now and then I miss it 50. At age 15 I knew who I was. At 20 I had no idea. At 25 I knew again, but I am once again trying to figure it out 51. I don’t understand sibling rivalry. My brother and I have always been great friends52. My best friend and I have been friends for 26 years. I consider that one of my greatest accomplishments53. I am still trying to figure out how to make money doing the things I love54. Though I don’t necessarily love working, I can’t seem to ever stop55. I like cleaning, but hate clutter. Unfortunately, my house if very cluttered56. I think Corner Gas is the best show to hit tv in decades57. I watch very little tv, but love movies58. I can answer most questions about celebrities, but it is not because I really care, I just read a lot 59. I can achieve a zen state of mind by folding hand after hand in poker60. In a bar, I am most comfortable working, but if I were to go to one, you will usually find me sitting at the end of the bar talking to the bartender 61. I am the most competitive person I know. By far. 62. I wish I was independently wealthy enough to just travel for a few years - I don’t even really care where63. I paint, sketch, and draw, but very rarely get around to any of it 64. When I was little, my grandma used to make homemade ice cream. It was so delicious that I have never been able to eat commercial ice cream and enjoy it since65. I will buy anything that smells like coconut or pineapple66. When I was 13, I got busted for stealing 0 worth of stickers (scratch ‘n sniff, etc.) from a drug store67. The only magazine I buy on a regular basis is Maxim68. I don’t like censoring myself, but there are things that I just wont let myself write about online 69. I do not have a favorite color. I like them all 70. The only music I won’t listen to is techno71. I love playstation and other video games. I wont touch them for years, but when I do, I play for days72. I worked in a pool hall when I was 16/17, and seriously considered making a living outta playing pool73. I am only 5′4, and have never wanted to be taller74. I wouldnt know a Manolo Blahnik if it speared me in the head with its pointy little heel, but I own about 17 pairs of sandals75. I cant stand having anything on my feet76. I hate chocolate77. I am addicted to Degrassi, the Next Generation78. I am very proud that my daughter knows what the Hammer is, and knows how to play it 79. I hate starting sentences with the word I, so writing this list is driving me nuts80. I have never watched an episode of Sex
Array-ne on the road east with the laptop bluesat the marsh’s edge—tantramar tauntingme to enter its morass, to cross at my own risk,the neck is narrow, bottled, grippingnova scotia to hang on, to not drift away on the briny—wee green wedgie or noand i’m on the road with my laptop,my electronic lapdog, hot and hungrybeside me—talking to me, wantingattention—
link
-ne A new study reveals that a majority of scientists believe in God. In a separate study in June, 76 percent of doctors surveyed said they believe in God and 59 percent said they believe in some sort of afterlife.
link
-ne Day 1 witnessed some proud moments: He surpassed 600 wickets on the very ground that was witness to a defining moment in his career; It was only befitting that the ground was a witness again to another glorious achievement by this man who brought alive the leg-spinner clan that was dying a slow death in cricket.
link
-ne
Ok - maybe it is just 88 lines about me. Or - maybe it is just 88 lines of confessions from me. Either way - this is all about me.1. I honestly believe that yelling at my computer screen affects the outcome of the cards that fall on the flop, turn, and river2. I am selfish as all hell - though I don’t always appear that way3. Sadly I love cigarettes more than just about anything in the world 4. When I sit at a poker table, I honestly do believe that I am the best player at that table. The day I stop believing that is the day I quit playing. 5. I derive sinful pleasure from check-raising when I have the nuts6. I would rather win a pot with the hammer than with any other hand 7. My greatest gift in poker is patience, my worst flaw is undervaluing my hands8. My favorite job ever was working as a bartender. I would do it again for minimum wage without tips if I had to 9. Women in general piss me off with their girly ways. However, when I find women that I respect and like, I will go out of my way to be in their company10. I like cards, beer, golf, fishing, baseball and football more than most things in life.11. I like being alone way more than I should 12. I like cats and dogs equally, and will spend hours trying to convince people that I need to adopt every stray I find - though I never actually do13. I do not goo and gush at the sight of a baby14. I believe in the power of meditation15. Though I am from Canada, if you ask me the temperature I will probably tell you in degrees F16. I probably use the words ‘eh’ and ‘dude’ more than any other word in the english language17. I hate brandy. I used to hate scotch, but have since acquired a taste for it and would drink it any day of the week18. I love beer. Any kind of beer19. There are approximately 2000 people in this world who know me only by the nickname Bobo. It is a really long, boring story why20. I did not listen to any kind of heavy metal in the 80’s, though I really like it now21. I used to ride a skateboard, and lived for quarter and half pipes22. The longest crush I ever had was for a guy named Rob Oliver. I have no idea where he is now, and don’t really want to know 23. I love cooking, and will spend seventeen hours straight making a meal if I have to 24. Money is not the reason I do things, yet I do dream of being a millionaire25. I have never dated anyone based on what they looked like26. If I go to a bar, the last thing I want to do is dance27. I can not sing. At all. Don’t ask me to, cause I won’t28. I do, however, love singing when I am alone29. If I had to pick one famous man to be my ‘ideal’ - it would be John Corbett30. There are times in my life when I feel completely and utterly lost, and others when I feel invincible31. Sappy commercials make me cry. So do game shows32. I am a contradiction of terms, and I am ok with that 33. I always had short hair as a kid, and I now refuse to cut it. I also refuse to cut my daughters hair and cried the only time I ever did. 34. I think you learn more about people when they are drunk than when they are sober35. I am left-handed, so chances are I will die 4 years before most of you36. I play hockey, golf, and baseball with both hands though37. All my favorite teams are from Michigan. I have said that before, but it bears repeating38. My favorite foods are chicken wings, ribs, cedar-smoked salmon, and rare steak39. I could never be a vegetarian - though I agree with the principles40. If I could live anywhere, it would be Vegas. I am sure I would be sick of it within 2 months, but I am willing to risk that41. I have never been off this continent42. If I could travel anywhere in the world - it would be Italy. No question43. I willingly studied Latin. And Russian. 44. My favorite wine is a Chateauneuf De Pape, and it is not that expensive45. I love champagne, but am not that impressed with Dom Perignon46. I have no desire to travel to England, but would still go if presented with the opportunity47. I like to stay up as late as humanly possible every night, yet I love being up in the morning. I have no use for afternoons48. I am fairly independent and will fix and build things myself, but I firmly believe in the mantra: car broke, man fix49. The thought of working in another cubicle terrifies me, but every now and then I miss it 50. At age 15 I knew who I was. At 20 I had no idea. At 25 I knew again, but I am once again trying to figure it out 51. I don’t understand sibling rivalry. My brother and I have always been great friends52. My best friend and I have been friends for 26 years. I consider that one of my greatest accomplishments53. I am still trying to figure out how to make money doing the things I love54. Though I don’t necessarily love working, I can’t seem to ever stop55. I like cleaning, but hate clutter. Unfortunately, my house if very cluttered56. I think Corner Gas is the best show to hit tv in decades57. I watch very little tv, but love movies58. I can answer most questions about celebrities, but it is not because I really care, I just read a lot 59. I can achieve a zen state of mind by folding hand after hand in poker60. In a bar, I am most comfortable working, but if I were to go to one, you will usually find me sitting at the end of the bar talking to the bartender 61. I am the most competitive person I know. By far. 62. I wish I was independently wealthy enough to just travel for a few years - I don’t even really care where63. I paint, sketch, and draw, but very rarely get around to any of it 64. When I was little, my grandma used to make homemade ice cream. It was so delicious that I have never been able to eat commercial ice cream and enjoy it since65. I will buy anything that smells like coconut or pineapple66. When I was 13, I got busted for stealing 0 worth of stickers (scratch ‘n sniff, etc.) from a drug store67. The only magazine I buy on a regular basis is Maxim68. I don’t like censoring myself, but there are things that I just wont let myself write about online 69. I do not have a favorite color. I like them all 70. The only music I won’t listen to is techno71. I love playstation and other video games. I wont touch them for years, but when I do, I play for days72. I worked in a pool hall when I was 16/17, and seriously considered making a living outta playing pool73. I am only 5′4, and have never wanted to be taller74. I wouldnt know a Manolo Blahnik if it speared me in the head with its pointy little heel, but I own about 17 pairs of sandals75. I cant stand having anything on my feet76. I hate chocolate77. I am addicted to Degrassi, the Next Generation78. I am very proud that my daughter knows what the Hammer is, and knows how to play it 79. I hate starting sentences with the word I, so writing this list is driving me nuts80. I have never watched an episode of Sex